So I know as I started writing this part is going to be devastating for my heart! But I am going to take that pain for you guys , this is going to be a very emotional chapter 🤌🏻😊
Before you read ; please vote and after reading don't forget to comment down your thoughts.
Just listen to this song for a better heartbreaking 💔 experience !
Ryan: (shouts) "Dev..deep? Who's that?"
Khushi: (crying loudly)" You said his name, Ryan! Every time I get close to you, his face comes near me. Today, when you were touching me with love, I was impelled to remember everything that happened to me before."
Ryan: (desperately) "Khushi, what are you talking about? What happened with you and Devdeep? Who is he ? Do you have any past ! Oh god I didn't even know when I told my men to know your details they didn't told me about your affairs! They said you were never into any relationship!!!"
Khushi: (between sobs)"Ryan ... It was a secret relationship."
Ryan: (chuckles, clenching his fist in and out )" so did he touch you ? What did he do to you tell me !"
Khushi: (tearfully) "shut up !! it still hurts so much! How could you say that !!!"
Ryan: (empathetically, )" I understand. It's okay to feel the pain, Khushi. Let it out !"
Khushi: (between sobs) "He is the love of my life , in the third year of my college I fall in love with him , I found everything in him ! He was just the male version of me , it was a great time !
He sings , he arts ,he is just like me , even our choices were the same even many time we dressed same coincidentally. In a program I met him , though the meeting wasn't some special, after that I heard that he searched me and the day we met again coincidentally, he texted me I was surprised to see his text but he told me he managed it from some college group. However we talked again and again ... I wasn't sure he really loved me or not so I waited for 6 months , after his lots of efforts I get convinced to get into a relationship! Then one day he kissed me , I wasn't prepared but he healed my every insecurities , I thought he really loved me until the day ..."
Ryan : "don't stop telling me the whole thing !" (Anger flashes into his eyes )
Khushi : "one day I was sitting on his lap and scrolling fb when a familiar face I saw and showed him as he saw the face he pulled me down off his lap and said it's his female bestfriend and told me not to tell anything to her about her relationship. However I like to keep everything private that's why I didn't tell her .we talked often as we knew each other !
One day she invited me for a birthday party and debdeep too went there but I wasn't prepared for what I saw , they were doing makeout infront of me shamelessly, and told me to sit there ! I could remember the day it was raining heavily ... my heart was crying... Sobbing paining ... After the day I asked once to him !
"Don't you love me debdeep"? How could you do that to me ?
He said sorry it was just a physical attraction!!
I know after that what happened to me , I met him one day to hug him for the last time ,but that day he was just busy to show me his anger because I decided to end our relationship! He tried to assault me .. but thank God he couldn't succeed!
But it's not the end after that I was longed into depression , suicidal thoughts, I became a sadist person, I loved to hurt me and till now I do it !
You know Ryan when you hurt me mentally or physically instead of feeling pain I feel good 😊 !
Yes when it becomes extreme I just try to breathe but somewhere in my heart I love it , I am used to being abused mentally! I am used to get pain , the person I loved broke me ! He made me a sadist .
From that day till now I hallucinate him , he has become a nightmare for me , his words echos till now in my ear ! I didn't even know that he had so many relationships! At the same time after my breakup I got to know it !"
Ryan : (her every word was throbbing his heart , slicing his heart into pieces).. hearing her he became ( speechless) ..... .... With a pause he finally spoke "And what about the forehead kiss !? "
Khushi ( with a tearful, trembling voice ) :" he was the last person I allowed to kiss me on my forehead! After that I don't even allow my maa baba(mom dad) to kiss my forehead , because it hurts me ! Every time someone kisses on my forehead I feel like debdeep is kissing me and then I remember that he never loved me !!! 😭😞
Ryan: (firmly) Khushi, tell me everything. I want to know what happened with Devdeep."
Ryan: (furious) "THAT BASTARD! I'LL KILL HIM! HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO YOU, KHUSHI?!"
Khushi: (tearfully) "Ryan, please..."
Ryan: (seething) "NO, KHUSHI! I NEED TO KNOW MORE! WHAT ELSE DID HE DO TO YOU?!"
Khushi: (sobbing) "He...he broke my heart, Ryan. He made me feel worthless."
Ryan: (enraged) "WORTHLESS?! YOU'RE NOT WORTHLESS, KHUSHI! YOU'RE AMAZING! DEBDEEP IS THE ONE WHO'S WORTHLESS!"
Khushi: (sniffling)" Ryan..."
Ryan: (painfully) "Oh, Khushi...I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can feel your pain. My ex also cheated on me . However now I have you to cherish I promise I will love you in your worst and best ! ......"
Khushi: (tearfully)" Ryan...... thanks for understanding... I thought you would react...
Ryan: why didn't you took any actions ! "
Khushi:" I loved him how could I !! "
Ryan : "after you moved on you could have !!! "
Khushi: "I never moved on ... Maybe ... I mean .how could I hurt the person I love . I can never do that even when I am out of love I can't hurt the person I used to love .."
Ryan: (hesitantly) ""Khushi...do you still love him?""
Khushi: (hesitates)" Maybe...yes."(closes her eyes )"
Ryan: (wipes off her tears with his hand ) (heartbroken) "ohh that's why you always say you don't love me .......Khushi... (pauses, takes a step back) Mmm sorry khushi promise I promise you you will never feel the same again .mmm Khushi I think it's late now try to sleep .. we will talk about this later ."
Ryan's POV
I lie awake, staring at Khushi's peaceful face beside me. Just hours ago, she revealed her past, and her words still echo in my mind. She still loves him - the guy who cheated on her, broke her heart, and made her feel worthless. I feel devastated, like my world has been shattered.
I'm a strong person, but I can't control my tears. They silently stream down my face as I think about what Khushi has gone through. The pain, the heartache, the betrayal. And now, she still loves him. It's like a knife twisting in my heart.
I can't help but think about my own past, my ex who cheated on me. The same feeling of betrayal, the same pain now it's like it's happening all over again. The person I love the most, Khushi, loves someone else - someone who doesn't deserve her.
I feel like I'm losing myself in these thoughts. I'm torn between my love for Khushi and the pain she's causing me. I want to be strong for her, but it's hard when I feel like I'm reliving my own past heartache.
I look at Khushi, and my heart breaks all over again. She's so beautiful, so innocent. She deserves so much better than to be stuck in the past, loving someone who hurt her so deeply. And maybe she deserves better than me ! someone who can't even protect her from her own memories.
I make a decision in that moment - "I won't hurt her anymore. I won't be the one to cause her pain. I'll be her friend, her confidant, but I can't be her lover. Not when she still loves him. I can't compete with a ghost, and I won't destroy myself trying.I promise I will be out of your sight! But when you will need me I will be there for you ! I can't hurt you more khushi , I promise, I will worship you , from your cracked feet to your beautiful eyes ... But I will never touch you ... I don't want you to remember your past .. from today I will never force you to love me !
Yes Khushi ( cries ) I can live without love , I am used to it but I can't hurt the person whom I love the most , I can't see you in depression!
Next morning:
Khushi saw herself in a comfy dress ,(no need to tell who changed it ).Then she notices Ryan coming out of the washroom wiping up his hair with his towel.
She approaches;
Ryan are you going somewhere?
Ryan : coldly ; hmm I have some work!
Khushi: "ok then wait I will make breakfast for you , Mary aunty is on leave ."
Ryan : (coldly )you don't need ! I mean I will have it in my office .
Khushi nods ,the whole day she was thinking why was Ryan's behaviour so cold to her !!!
Ryan's POV:
I know khushi you are surprised with my behaviour, but I am doing it for your good 😊 I know it's also painful for me ! But what can I do! It's impossible to resist myself to touch you when you are in front of me !
(Evening)
The whole day he didn't call her and even he replied to her messages with very bare minimum texts .
Khushi: (notices the change in Ryan's demeanor) Ryan? What happened to you are you upset?
Ryan: (shrugging) "I'm just busy, that's all."
However khushi understands maybe he was busy so she didn't disturbed him when he went upwards without having dinner she thought to wake him up and even waited for him to wake up but her eyes went heavier after waiting for long .. it was the first day Ryan didn't hold her in his sleep .
Time skips ( after 5 days ) ( these days Ryan behaved same coldly with her !
Khushi's POV
I am noticing today Ryan did not go to office but still he is passing his time on those silly video games !!!! He is ignoring me !!!
I really need to talk to him , is he really busy or is he upset!! Maybe he is upset after knowing that I had loved someone in my past or he is frustrated because I told him he was the last person I allowed to kiss my forehead.
(Evening)
Khushi: (trying to touch his arm) Ryan, listen , I need to talk to you .Are you ok ? Why do I feel like you are ignoring my presence?
Ryan: (pulling away) Sorry, I'm just tired. I need some space.
Khushi: (hurt) Space? From me?
Ryan: (avoiding eye contact) Yeah, I just need some time to myself.
(Trying to talk to him at night)
Khushi: Ryan, can we talk about what's going on? You're scaring me.
Ryan: (focused on his phone) Nothing to talk about, Khushi. Sleep now it's late .
Khushi: (feeling ignored) Ryan, I miss the day we got drenched in rain ! You remember Ryan???
Ryan: (moves and faces the other side of the bed ) I need to sleep. Early meeting tomorrow.
Khushi: (desperate) Ryan, please don't shut me out!
Ryan: (coldly) I'm not shutting you out, Khushi. I'm just tired.
Khushi: (tearfully) You're not the Ryan I used to know anymore, are you?
Ryan: (pausing, without looking at her) I...I need time, Khushi.
Ryan: (coldly) Khushi, don't disturb my sleep.
Khushi: (softly) Ryan, I just wanted to...(Caresses his biceps)
Ryan: (pushing her hand away) Don't touch me, Khushi. I'm tired.
Khushi: ( hurt) Ryan, what's wrong? Why are you being like this?
Ryan: (furiously) Why are you being so annoying, Khushi?! Can't you see I'm exhausted?!
Khushi: (tearfully) I care for you that's why I asked ?
Ryan: (yelling) ?! You call this care ?! You're suffocating me khushi! And by the way why you should care for me ! Don't you have many others , care for them not me !!!
Khushi: (painfully) Ryan, please...what are you saying!!!
Ryan: (coldly) Wasn't it you who always wanted space?! Now I'm giving it to you!
Khushi: (whispering) But not like this, Ryan...
Ryan: (turning his back) I don't care. Just let me sleep.
Khushi: (heartbroken) Fine... (starts weeping, inserts her face into her knees, and falls asleep in exhaustion)
Ryan: (ignoring her tears, turns his back and pretends to sleep)
(The room is filled with tension and heartache, the distance between them palpable. Khushi's sobs echo in the silence, while Ryan's cold demeanor shuts her out, leaving her feeling alone and unloved.)
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I know the chapter is long ! 😞
I am upset after writing it guys , I just need some time to upload next part ..
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